“Oh Lord, why me?!” That’s what I cried when I learned of Justin’s autism. I felt overwhelmed, especially considering that Justin is also blind. I’d known something was not quite right by the time Justin had his three month check-up. The physician asked if I’d had any concerns; and I stated, “My concern is I do not think that he can see.” You can only imagine the look the physician gave me when I said this. I knew deep down inside that my son could not see, as there were signs earlier on. After listening to my concerns about Justin’s vision, the physician referred me to an ophthalmologist to confirm what I already knew – Justin was blind in both eyes. His words of encouragement were, “He will give you just as much joy as one who could see.”  Compared to the autism, the blindness, for me, was – and still is – a piece of cake. Although there were days when my confidence was strong and I would say we can get through this…However, there were many days I simply did not want to go on with life. It was in those moments Justin would sometimes sing the song, “Yes, Jesus Loves Me,” or reach over and hug me… and all the thoughts that I had about not wanting to go on with life would go right out the window. My emotions were on an all-time high almost daily, but I soon discovered that nothing stays the same and our babies do get older. I have learned that as the days, weeks, months and years go by, the load becomes a little bit lighter and lighter. The joy of raising Justin outweighs the autism and visual impairment. Although the blindness was a concern soon after his birth, the thought that he might be autistic had never crossed my mind. “Surely, he’s not autistic,” my parents would often say. They did not see the signs until he was almost three years-old. I am not a doctor but I have read my fair share of articles and books about medical research on autism. Yet, Justin has definitely taught me more than any doctor or book could teach me about having a child with special needs. Parents, listen to your children because the signs are there and a mother knows her child.

 

About The Author

God fearing, loving mother to an awesome young man. Enjoying what I do! Although I'm not the greatest teacher, however raising a child with special needs has given me more degrees than any college university you could think of.

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